Irish For A Day
by ThirteenoftheRedDawn
Summary: The Akatsuki go on vacation in Ireland on St. Pattie's Day.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Lucky Charms, The song mentioned, or the name of the bar. I only own the plot.

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Sealing the majority of the nine biju really took a lot out of an evil organization. So Pein decided that it was time for him and the other members of his underhanded group to go on a very long vacation. Tobi just so happened to be around when Pein made the suggestion to the only female member. So Tobi found a computer and surfed the net until he found the perfect location. God help us all.

All ten members of the Akatsuki stood at boarding terminal thirteen all loaded down with at least two giant suitcases. Every member looked frazzled and very angry; probably because it took six hours for all of them to get through the customs. Kakuzu was off sulking over the large sum of money that had been spent on this ridiculous trip and the thought of how much will potentially be blown on souvenirs and other trinkets.

Walking out of the airport and into the bright sunlit morning they were suddenly surrounded by a humongous group of locals. All wore green and some had beer mugs with a foamy green liquid filling it or in some cases refilling it. The Akatsuki were silent as the locals gazed at them, but they didn't suspect them to practically jump them and starting to pinch. Zetsu was the only one that was left unharmed by these crazy lunatics.

The entire way to their hotel was painful every time they ran into another local. The plant man just smiled while he was still without any wounds. Itachi being a genius finally figured out that Zetsu was green while the rest were not. Unfortunately for Zetsu the other members ripped leaves off of the plants growing from his shoulders.

Tobi and Deidara were leading the way to their hotel when a large burly man strutted up beside the blonde artist. He took one of Deidara's hands kissing the back of it. "Good day to ye, me fine lass, tis' better now that I've stumbled upon ye n' yer beauty."

The man flashed his bright blue eyes at Deidara while he stroked his red beard with the hand not holding onto the blonde's. The other Akatsuki members were silently snickering behind their hands at Deidara's predicament. The man stood there obviously waiting for a reply from Deidara. Tobi being a very hyper-active individual decided to grad Deidara's unoccupied hand and drag him towards a clothing store. The man burst into tears than noticed the stoic Uchiha. Apparently Itachi doesn't like to be hit on everyone concluded while Itachi's Sharingan spun as he stepped over the twitching man lying on the ground. Maybe flashing the guy in the Tsukuyomi to prove his maleness was probably too much.

Finally arriving at the hotel and receiving their room keys they all departed for their waiting beds. Tobi arrived at that moment halting everyone. Deidara stumbled in behind the now green masked ninja, loaded down with a mountain of shopping bags. He jumped at the shopping bags, knocking the blonde over while he started to paw through one of the bags. Form out of the bag emerged a cloak in similar fashion to the ones they wore only it was white with green trim and large green shamrocks adorning it.

"Ta dah!" Tobi screeched as he whipped the cloak overtop of his Akatsuki one. "Now we won't get pinched by everyone!" He threw a cloak at each member and then hauled out spray-in hair dye. "Tobi is a good boy." Tobi cautiously stepped towards the others before breaking out in a mad dash for them.

Hours later everyone had messy green streaks running through their hair and the shamrock cloak on. They had all agreed to hit the bar known as the McGann's Tavern early. So there they were, perched atop barstools drinking green ale. Kisame and Hidan had decided that trying to get sake was impossible but they thought that if they kept drinking then Konan would get prettier.

An average sized man sauntered up to Deidara and Itachi. "You two be might right purdee…"

"Prudee?" Deidara shot the man a questioning look.

"Naw lassie, I says ye two look might right purdee." He ran a hand through his thick black beard. The man stood thinking for a moment before speaking again. "Ye be the purdiest lassies in tis here tav'rn."

"Oh, were the prettiest ladies in this bar, I get it now." Deidara stated then went back to his drink. Itachi gave the blond beside him a shocked look.

"Deidara, he called us women, that doesn't bother you?" questioned the Uchiha in his monotonous voice.

"Ye know, ye shousd be outside participatin' in th' festivities," the man stated looking at both of them. "Today be Saint Pattie's Day o'er here in Ireland." He took a swig of his green ale and sauntered over to Pein and Konan where he proceeded to use his Irish charm on Konan.

Tobi bounced on his barstool between Hidan and Kakuzu who was reading a book. "What are you reading?" Tobi questioned excitedly.

"A book on customs and folklore around here," Kakuzu replied in a bored tone. "The only thing worth the paper it's printed on is this tale about a little creature known as a Leprechaun." Kakuzu eyed Tobi before continuing. "These creatures have a pot of gold they will give to you if you can catch him. Here's what they presumably look like," Kakuzu held the book out for Tobi to see. On the page was a little man with a head of curly red hair and beard, a green suit, hat and pipe. He had pointed ears and a shamrock tucked in the black strap around his top hat. He wore buckles on his shiny black shoes.

A while later Tobi and Kakuzu left the bar to go search for the Leprechauns. During their quest they happened upon Zetsu nestled in a grove filled with fur-leafed clovers. They continued walking when they heard Zetsu talking to his supposed relatives.

Meanwhile Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, and Konan were covering their ears while Pein, Kisame and Hidan were singing really horrible karaoke. The song they sang told the tale of a man named Paddy writing a note explaining why he wasn't coming into work. About halfway through the song Pein drunkenly pitched forward landing on some expensive equipment that he would unquestionably have to pay for. Kisame and Hidan passed out shortly after and all three had to be dragged off the stage so the next band could perform.

Konan left the bar leaning on the black bearded man, presumably to his house; she was obviously plastered. Deidara, Sasori, and Itachi decided to leave their passed out comrades and watch the parade taking place outside. They visited the vast lines of street vendors, food stands, cheered as the colorfully decorated floats went by and managed to find beer mugs and green ale by the kegs. Yes, they were very happy with how this vacation was turning out.

Kakuzu on the other hand had gotten separated from his temporary Leprechaun catching partner. Currently he was laying down a network of clever Leprechaun capturing traps. He'd already spotted one of the little green wearing men at least seven-hundred and eighty-five times. Each attempt he failed to seize the crafty little buggers.

Shortly after concealing himself in a comfortable hiding spot, a Leprechaun with a big head and no beard came running along. Its green knit scarf flailed madly behind him as he ran into the first trap. Thus it was like a domino effect; the poor creature set all five-hundred-thousand and eleven traps off before finally landing in a messy heap in front of the greedy Akatsuki member.

"Are ye afte' me Lucky Charms™ as well?" the bloodied Leprechaun asked.

"Only if that's the name of your pot of gold, then yeah I am," Kakuzu snidely replied. The Leprechaun hauled a red cereal box out from behind his back. He sighed and handed it to Kakuzu who snatched it away with a gleam in his eye.

Kakuzu glared at the cheap cardboard for a moment, turning it left then right. He shook it vigorously and was surprised to see marshmallows and crunchy cereal spill onto the ground. Angered, he set his simmering eyes on the Leprechaun.

"What kind of cheap trick is this?" he spat in rage.

"Ye says ye were afte' me Lucky Charms™ did ye not?"

"Where's the pot of gold?" Kakuzu was stalking towards the mangled creature menacingly.

"Look, here be a pot o' gold marshmallow, that be what ye were afte' right?" The Leprechaun held up a tiny yellow marshmallow in the shape of a pot of gold. "Jus' take it and leave me be, I be too purdee ta die here."

Kakuzu gazed at the front of the box then the pitiful creature before him, his mind making the connection. He realized that the barely alive Leprechaun was the same one plastered on the cover of the Lucky Charms™ cereal box. That was the first time that Kakuzu broke into tears, and then killed Lucky for being a witness to his emotional breakdown.

At the end of the night everyone had managed to drag themselves back to their hotel some dragging more than their weight in booze as well. They all packed their belongings and set their suitcases by the entrance to their rooms. After, everyone said their goodnights and sleep tights before burying under their warm blankets.

The next morning every member was awoken by the high pitched screech of Tobi the immature adult. Opening the door to the room he occupied they saw him seated on the bed playing Pattie-Cakes with at least fifteen little Leprechauns. That was the second time that Kakuzu broke down and wept like a small child. That was the deciding factor that made Pein tell everyone that their vacation was going to be cut short.

Tobi being a good boy had bought a little bobble-headed Leprechaun for everyone as a memento of their wonderful trip to Ireland. Unfortunately Zetsu ate all of them, funeral services will be held on March 19th during happy hour the McGann's Tavern, all are welcome for some green ale and of course to pay respect to the dearly departed bobble-headed Leprechauns.

A/N: Heh that was fun to write. Anyways **Happy Saint Patrick's Day!** Hope yours is as entertaining as the Akatsuki's was.


End file.
